Shoes

This poem was given to me today by a friend and I thought it especially appropriate.

I am wearing a pair of shoes. They are ugly shoes. They are uncomfortable shoes. I hate my shoes. Each day I wear them and each day I wish I had another pair. Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step. Yet, I continue to wear them.

I get funny looks wearing these shoes. I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs. They never talk about my shoes.

To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable. To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them. But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes. There are many pairs in this world. Some women ache daily as they try and walk in them. Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite so much. Some have worn these shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.

No woman deserves to wear these shoes. Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman. These shoes have given me the strength to face anything. They have made me who I am.

I am a woman who has a child with cancer. I will forever walk in these shoes.

author unknown

This hit me hard as even when I don't think I'm thinking about Brittany's disease, I am. It never stops..................it never goes away.......it may lay quiet for time, but never goes away. When she has a good day, I have a good day. When she has a bad day, I have a bad day. One can only understand this through the heart of a mother. I constantly have to remind myself that God sees the whole picture and I see only a portion. I hate that my child has to go through this............I wish it were me. You know, as mothers, we're created to love, nurture, guide and direct, but there are few things worse than not being able to fix a sick child. It goes against everything that is so deeply ingrained in our being. I can't imagine what Brit has going on in her heart, mind and body every second of every day, and my heart aches to fix it..............................I have to realize that I can't..........only GOD can. I will trust in Him.....